Well what can I say to wrap this blog up?
I really learned a lot more then I ever imagined I would, also this class turned out to be completely different then what I was expecting and I can honestly say that I am pleased with what it really turned out to be.
I feel like I have really learned a lot of things that I would have never thought about especially when it comes to things like culture/diversity in families and getting ready for marriage.
This course really opened my eyes to a lot of topics that I have always known about but never really thought or pondered on. Throughout this class I found myself relating a lot to my own family and personal experiences which really helped my learning process and made certain topic really stick with me.
I also really enjoyed how we always had class discussions about every topic. I think that really helped me understand certain things better because people in class would put it in a way I have never thought of before or have ideas and explain them in a way I could really understand.
I am really happy that I took this course and enjoyed it so much I think it will benefit me in my future both with my education and family life.
Probably my favorite class this semester no lie just because topics were all beneficial to me personally and the way the class was set up will be sad to move on to other courses but its that time of the semester again so I am going to wrap up this blog for this semester!
Rachel Escobar
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Aging
So when we started talking about the aging family I was a little lost and still am because I have no idea what it is like or what to expect
I think the aging family has to do with the kids getting older, retirement, and just moving along with life.
When children begin to get older and leave the house I think some parents take it harder than others and that it can be a big adjustment.
When I first left to come here my parents did not seem to sad but I know when I am home they really enjoy it and having all their children home again (well they better!). In my home I am the youngest of 3 children but we all still live at home but my sister was on a mission and as soon as she came back it was time for me to leave so my parents are not true empty nesters however, they have had there share of moving people out and saying their goodbyes.
I know when some peoples children move out they have a hard time because the house is empty and they do not really have any one to take care of and do things for so I think that can be hard.
While having kids leave the nest can be a hard experience I have heard some interesting stories about how things go once one spouse is retired or both.
I think this has some issues because people do not really know what to do with all their free time and are not used to being home so much and being around each other so much. I know a family who the wife says she wants to just cry all the time because her husband just drives her nuts because he is always getting into things around the house and messing with her daily routine...(Oh No!)
I think when the family starts "aging" it is important to talk about things and how things will work however, I guess you don't really know what to expect until it comes but it is always a good idea to think ahead. I'm just glad i do not have to be around my house for this time in my parents life haha ;)
Rachel Escobar
I think the aging family has to do with the kids getting older, retirement, and just moving along with life.
When children begin to get older and leave the house I think some parents take it harder than others and that it can be a big adjustment.
When I first left to come here my parents did not seem to sad but I know when I am home they really enjoy it and having all their children home again (well they better!). In my home I am the youngest of 3 children but we all still live at home but my sister was on a mission and as soon as she came back it was time for me to leave so my parents are not true empty nesters however, they have had there share of moving people out and saying their goodbyes.
I know when some peoples children move out they have a hard time because the house is empty and they do not really have any one to take care of and do things for so I think that can be hard.
While having kids leave the nest can be a hard experience I have heard some interesting stories about how things go once one spouse is retired or both.
I think this has some issues because people do not really know what to do with all their free time and are not used to being home so much and being around each other so much. I know a family who the wife says she wants to just cry all the time because her husband just drives her nuts because he is always getting into things around the house and messing with her daily routine...(Oh No!)
I think when the family starts "aging" it is important to talk about things and how things will work however, I guess you don't really know what to expect until it comes but it is always a good idea to think ahead. I'm just glad i do not have to be around my house for this time in my parents life haha ;)
Rachel Escobar
Monday, December 16, 2013
Divorce
So this week in class we talked about a kind of depressing subject...divorce and how it affects the family
I think divorce is hard on everyone in the family but the only perspective I can really see it from is from the child.
I have never been through a divorce in my own immediate family however, I have seen it in family member and close friends.
I think that divorce makes children feel like they might have done something to make their parents not want to stay together or that they can fix it somehow by being extremely well behaved so their parents will not fight or acting out so the parents will fill bad. Again I do not have a lot of experience dealing with this I have just seen and observed out some people I know who have been divorced.
A friend I had back in high school whose parents were getting a divorce never wanted to be home and said she felt helpless in the situation. I think that is how I would feel helpless and sad I think it is hard on children because they have to realize that their parents the one thing they are suppose to count on and be a back bone kind of, break apart so it is hard to know what or how to deal with it.
again I do not know much about divorce first hand but from what I have seen and understand from the child's prospective it is by no means easy.
Rachel Escobar
I think divorce is hard on everyone in the family but the only perspective I can really see it from is from the child.
I have never been through a divorce in my own immediate family however, I have seen it in family member and close friends.
I think that divorce makes children feel like they might have done something to make their parents not want to stay together or that they can fix it somehow by being extremely well behaved so their parents will not fight or acting out so the parents will fill bad. Again I do not have a lot of experience dealing with this I have just seen and observed out some people I know who have been divorced.
A friend I had back in high school whose parents were getting a divorce never wanted to be home and said she felt helpless in the situation. I think that is how I would feel helpless and sad I think it is hard on children because they have to realize that their parents the one thing they are suppose to count on and be a back bone kind of, break apart so it is hard to know what or how to deal with it.
again I do not know much about divorce first hand but from what I have seen and understand from the child's prospective it is by no means easy.
Rachel Escobar
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Parenting
So this week in class we talked about parenting and how important it is and things that can help with it.
I think that parenting is a crucial part of a family structure because it starts to mold and create the kind of children you will have and I believe children play a big part in a family.
I really had no idea what so ever what to expect going in to this chapter because I have no idea what it is or means to be a parent. But after this week I think that the main thing we learned is that it is important to communicate while parenting and being on the same page as your partner because that will make it a little easier.
Being older now I can see what kind of parenting my parents used on me and my sibling and they kind of fall into the being really strict with the first child and more relaxed with the younger ones. I can now see how this was both a good and bad idea because with my older sister they were very strict and she rebelled a lot but with my brother and I they were very relaxed and kind of just went with the flow and I believe that I was the easier child that they did not have to worry about so much. Parenting is a big responsibility and while I still feel like I know nothing about it I have a better understanding of it. I think in order to know about it you have to experience it first hand to know what works and doesn't. I hope some day I get to experience it but for now learning about it was good enough for me
Rachel Escobar
I think that parenting is a crucial part of a family structure because it starts to mold and create the kind of children you will have and I believe children play a big part in a family.
I really had no idea what so ever what to expect going in to this chapter because I have no idea what it is or means to be a parent. But after this week I think that the main thing we learned is that it is important to communicate while parenting and being on the same page as your partner because that will make it a little easier.
Being older now I can see what kind of parenting my parents used on me and my sibling and they kind of fall into the being really strict with the first child and more relaxed with the younger ones. I can now see how this was both a good and bad idea because with my older sister they were very strict and she rebelled a lot but with my brother and I they were very relaxed and kind of just went with the flow and I believe that I was the easier child that they did not have to worry about so much. Parenting is a big responsibility and while I still feel like I know nothing about it I have a better understanding of it. I think in order to know about it you have to experience it first hand to know what works and doesn't. I hope some day I get to experience it but for now learning about it was good enough for me
Rachel Escobar
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Family Drama
So this week inn class we discussed family problems such as crisis.
When a crisis happens in a family it is determined by the family dynamics be changed due to an event or such.
In class we discussed many things that could be considered a family crisis positive or negative, some of the events were
-Death of a parent
-Death of a child
-Lose of a job
-Natural disasters
-Birth of a child
-Marriage
-Divorce
-Incarceration
-Addiction
While learning about what exactly a crisis was and how it affects family roles I started thinking of past crisis in my own family. When I was younger my family really went through a lot of struggles that could definitely be considered crisis. While I don't think ill get in to all of them the one that I can remember most vividly and that was the most traumatizing and biggest crisis was our house catching fire when I was 6 years old. I remember people thinking I did not understand what was going on but I very much did. I knew everything I had and ever knew was gone just completely gone. But being so young I just kind of went along with whatever was told to me but I remember my parents being absolutely terrified because they didn't know what would come next or really what to do I remember there being a lot of stress and tension and family roles constantly switching first my mom would take control and know what to do while my dad was gone and then my dad would take control when my mom just couldn't handle it anymore and all of this went on for a while until finally there was a balanced medium. Things have gotten back to normal physically wise for example we are all fine and go about our days like normal but the family dynamic have never really gone back to the way they once were because of the crisis that we went through that really shifted out family forever mostly for the better but it is still different due to a crisis
When a crisis happens in a family it is determined by the family dynamics be changed due to an event or such.
In class we discussed many things that could be considered a family crisis positive or negative, some of the events were
-Death of a parent
-Death of a child
-Lose of a job
-Natural disasters
-Birth of a child
-Marriage
-Divorce
-Incarceration
-Addiction
While learning about what exactly a crisis was and how it affects family roles I started thinking of past crisis in my own family. When I was younger my family really went through a lot of struggles that could definitely be considered crisis. While I don't think ill get in to all of them the one that I can remember most vividly and that was the most traumatizing and biggest crisis was our house catching fire when I was 6 years old. I remember people thinking I did not understand what was going on but I very much did. I knew everything I had and ever knew was gone just completely gone. But being so young I just kind of went along with whatever was told to me but I remember my parents being absolutely terrified because they didn't know what would come next or really what to do I remember there being a lot of stress and tension and family roles constantly switching first my mom would take control and know what to do while my dad was gone and then my dad would take control when my mom just couldn't handle it anymore and all of this went on for a while until finally there was a balanced medium. Things have gotten back to normal physically wise for example we are all fine and go about our days like normal but the family dynamic have never really gone back to the way they once were because of the crisis that we went through that really shifted out family forever mostly for the better but it is still different due to a crisis
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Its the little things
so this week in class we talked about marriage and problems that can occur and I think the biggest one or the one that stood out the most to me was infidelity. I never really realized that it can be the smallest thins that can lead to bigger more inappropriate things
The thing that stuck with me most form the class discussions and reading was ways to prevent infidelity. First we defined fidelity as many things like trust, loyalty, and words like that and infidelity to me is a violation of those words.
Like I said earlier it is the little things that can lead to bigger things that I never really thought of before like when married never being alone with a member of the opposite sex, avoiding temptations on social media, and keeping thoughts clean.
Another one that never occurred to me was not holding on to friendships with the opposite sex once married and this never really crossed my mind but I believe that this can really cause problems if you are more concerned about what your friends are doing rather then being with your spouse
I really had my eyes opened to small things that can lead to big problems in marriage this week in class
Rachel Escobar
The thing that stuck with me most form the class discussions and reading was ways to prevent infidelity. First we defined fidelity as many things like trust, loyalty, and words like that and infidelity to me is a violation of those words.
Like I said earlier it is the little things that can lead to bigger things that I never really thought of before like when married never being alone with a member of the opposite sex, avoiding temptations on social media, and keeping thoughts clean.
Another one that never occurred to me was not holding on to friendships with the opposite sex once married and this never really crossed my mind but I believe that this can really cause problems if you are more concerned about what your friends are doing rather then being with your spouse
I really had my eyes opened to small things that can lead to big problems in marriage this week in class
Rachel Escobar
Friday, November 1, 2013
Getting Ready
So this week in class I was not to excited about the topics we would be discussing because it was all about getting ready for marriage and problems newly wedded couples face.
But then we started talking about little things I never even began to ever consider like sharing a bed, and personal space,
I know talking about bed sharing is a little weird but I never thought about it before everyone has different sleeping habits and little "bedtime rituals" and once you are married you are going to have to maybe change your ways and then put up with someone else's. I never really realized that the small stuff such as bed sharing can make a difference because what if you like a million pillows but your partner does as well you'll always be fighting over pillows, or if you like a million blankets and they don not one will always be uncomfortable, then there is the whole blanket hog issue so many things just that go along with something as simple as sharing a bed.
Personal space is another one because I am the kind of person that needs to go off and do their own thing but what if your partner always wants to be around you or visa versa or you both always do your own thing and there is never any time together.
There are so many things to consider when getting married and overlooking the small stuff can make things harder so I think it is important to talk about and understand each other before you jump into marriage and this weeks class really opened my eyes to this.
But then we started talking about little things I never even began to ever consider like sharing a bed, and personal space,
I know talking about bed sharing is a little weird but I never thought about it before everyone has different sleeping habits and little "bedtime rituals" and once you are married you are going to have to maybe change your ways and then put up with someone else's. I never really realized that the small stuff such as bed sharing can make a difference because what if you like a million pillows but your partner does as well you'll always be fighting over pillows, or if you like a million blankets and they don not one will always be uncomfortable, then there is the whole blanket hog issue so many things just that go along with something as simple as sharing a bed.
Personal space is another one because I am the kind of person that needs to go off and do their own thing but what if your partner always wants to be around you or visa versa or you both always do your own thing and there is never any time together.
There are so many things to consider when getting married and overlooking the small stuff can make things harder so I think it is important to talk about and understand each other before you jump into marriage and this weeks class really opened my eyes to this.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Dating
This week I class we learned all about dating and stuff along those lines
I think dating is great and a good way to get to know someone. Dating obviously leads to different things and in class we talked about the steps
1st dating-hanging out with someone getting to know them
2nd "courtship"-you've met other people and decide that you want to be exclusive whicheach other
3rd-engagement
4th-marriage
While talking about these steps In class someone brought up "DTR"
Which means "determine the relationship" and this is when two people in the relationship sit down and "talk" about where the relationship is going. This sparked a good discussion in class. Some people say there awkward some people say there necessary, and some say that there taken to seriously.
I personally think it is important but it needs to be done in the right way. I think it's important not to be rushed into or pressured into. I think it needs to be done casually and I know that might not always happen but I just personally think it needs to be done but in the right way.
Rachel Escobar
I think dating is great and a good way to get to know someone. Dating obviously leads to different things and in class we talked about the steps
1st dating-hanging out with someone getting to know them
2nd "courtship"-you've met other people and decide that you want to be exclusive whicheach other
3rd-engagement
4th-marriage
While talking about these steps In class someone brought up "DTR"
Which means "determine the relationship" and this is when two people in the relationship sit down and "talk" about where the relationship is going. This sparked a good discussion in class. Some people say there awkward some people say there necessary, and some say that there taken to seriously.
I personally think it is important but it needs to be done in the right way. I think it's important not to be rushed into or pressured into. I think it needs to be done casually and I know that might not always happen but I just personally think it needs to be done but in the right way.
Rachel Escobar
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Siblings
Siblings...what can I say
This week in class my teacher asked us kind of an interesting question "how would your house be different and your relationships with family members if you were the opposite gender?" at first I was like oh whatever but then when I thought about it, it really can make a big difference I don't think my relationship with my parents would change that much but I think the dynamics of our family would change and my relationships with my siblings would be very different. My family has two girls and one boy so the boys would have dominance instead of the girls and I think I would be a lot closer with my older brother and less with my sister I also think I would have more work to do and I feel more responsible foe certain thing anyway not to much that really made me think this week lol (that sounds bad) but this I thought was interesting
Rachel
This week in class my teacher asked us kind of an interesting question "how would your house be different and your relationships with family members if you were the opposite gender?" at first I was like oh whatever but then when I thought about it, it really can make a big difference I don't think my relationship with my parents would change that much but I think the dynamics of our family would change and my relationships with my siblings would be very different. My family has two girls and one boy so the boys would have dominance instead of the girls and I think I would be a lot closer with my older brother and less with my sister I also think I would have more work to do and I feel more responsible foe certain thing anyway not to much that really made me think this week lol (that sounds bad) but this I thought was interesting
Rachel
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Culture
So in class this week we have been talking about culture and diversity in families and a topic that really stuck out to me was the immigration
Living in Southern California and being half Mexican this topic kind of was personal to me. Where I live I see a lot of illegal immigrants and it has always kind of bothered me at the same time I could not help but feel for them. My thought on immigration use to be that yeah it was fine but as long as they went about it the right way and not illegally because my grandparents came to the U.S when my dad was just an infant but they did it legally and I thought that if my family could do it why is it so hard for everyone else.
But then we had to read this article for class about families that immigrated to the U.S and were living in either north or south Carolina I cant remember which one anyway it had interviews with both the parents and children on how hard but vital for them to come to the U.S and how they were separated for years before they could all be together again and I just thought I do not know if I could go through that and I really can not even imagine how difficult it is for parents to be away from their children or spouses to be separated and then having to cross the boarder not knowing if everyone is going to make it must bring great anxiety and hardships on the families
Another part that really stood out to me was when the interviewers interviewed the children and parents separate and asked them different questions. I cant really relate with the moms and dads because I have never been a parent but I could relate with the children because I have obviously been one. the part that got me thinking was the teenagers that had to come and adapt to the new culture while trying to fit in and then having all those emotions and hormones thrown in the mix probably makes it very difficult because you want to still be with your family and close to your culture but want to fit in and just belong with your peers as well. in the interview one girl said how hard it was because her mom was getting mad with her because she was becoming "Americanized" and being disrespectful to her parents but isn't that what the want there kids to become like Americans and fit in I felt like after seeing that I could relate more and kind of felt bad for the immigrants my age that I know because I never took into consideration all the emotional and family dynamic changes they had to go through.
I always thought that immigrants just hoped the boarder with no problem and just settled in fine and went about their day. but it can be such a hard and long process
while I still have mixed feelings on illegal immigration I have a better understanding of all that goes into it and how hard it can really be.
Living in Southern California and being half Mexican this topic kind of was personal to me. Where I live I see a lot of illegal immigrants and it has always kind of bothered me at the same time I could not help but feel for them. My thought on immigration use to be that yeah it was fine but as long as they went about it the right way and not illegally because my grandparents came to the U.S when my dad was just an infant but they did it legally and I thought that if my family could do it why is it so hard for everyone else.
But then we had to read this article for class about families that immigrated to the U.S and were living in either north or south Carolina I cant remember which one anyway it had interviews with both the parents and children on how hard but vital for them to come to the U.S and how they were separated for years before they could all be together again and I just thought I do not know if I could go through that and I really can not even imagine how difficult it is for parents to be away from their children or spouses to be separated and then having to cross the boarder not knowing if everyone is going to make it must bring great anxiety and hardships on the families
Another part that really stood out to me was when the interviewers interviewed the children and parents separate and asked them different questions. I cant really relate with the moms and dads because I have never been a parent but I could relate with the children because I have obviously been one. the part that got me thinking was the teenagers that had to come and adapt to the new culture while trying to fit in and then having all those emotions and hormones thrown in the mix probably makes it very difficult because you want to still be with your family and close to your culture but want to fit in and just belong with your peers as well. in the interview one girl said how hard it was because her mom was getting mad with her because she was becoming "Americanized" and being disrespectful to her parents but isn't that what the want there kids to become like Americans and fit in I felt like after seeing that I could relate more and kind of felt bad for the immigrants my age that I know because I never took into consideration all the emotional and family dynamic changes they had to go through.
I always thought that immigrants just hoped the boarder with no problem and just settled in fine and went about their day. but it can be such a hard and long process
while I still have mixed feelings on illegal immigration I have a better understanding of all that goes into it and how hard it can really be.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Family Dynamic's
This week in class we talked about family dynamics and I never really noticed family dynamics in my own family until we started discussing theories
The systems theory I think is very relatable to most families when they hear it, at least that was my case anyways.
From what I understood the systems theory says that everyone in the family has a role whether it be the golden child, the trouble maker, the clown, or any others I know in my family after hearing the systems theory I discovered all our roles
I think in my family I am the easy child, while my siblings might disagree. I never really got in a lot of trouble in school, I always followed the rules an participated in church and family activities and kind of just went through the motions I was supposed to
I don't think I will say my other family members role publically because they wont appreciate that lol
But I think that the systems theory relates best to me and my family and I found it interesting that as we learned about it I could relate it to my experiences and family. also when we were asked to discuss the other theories along with this one to other classmates the majority of them said they felt like they could relate to the systems theory as well
so I believe that in every family everyone has a role and I can now see that clearly in my family thanks to the systems theory
Rachel Escobar
The systems theory I think is very relatable to most families when they hear it, at least that was my case anyways.
From what I understood the systems theory says that everyone in the family has a role whether it be the golden child, the trouble maker, the clown, or any others I know in my family after hearing the systems theory I discovered all our roles
I think in my family I am the easy child, while my siblings might disagree. I never really got in a lot of trouble in school, I always followed the rules an participated in church and family activities and kind of just went through the motions I was supposed to
I don't think I will say my other family members role publically because they wont appreciate that lol
But I think that the systems theory relates best to me and my family and I found it interesting that as we learned about it I could relate it to my experiences and family. also when we were asked to discuss the other theories along with this one to other classmates the majority of them said they felt like they could relate to the systems theory as well
so I believe that in every family everyone has a role and I can now see that clearly in my family thanks to the systems theory
Rachel Escobar
Friday, September 27, 2013
Thought on class this week September 23-27, 2013
So this week in class we talked a lot about different trends that we see happening that relate to families. Some of these include:-Cohabitation
-Marriage age
-Living alone
-Pre-marital sex
-Unwed mothers
-Birthrates
-Divorce rates
Something that was focused a lot on was the birthrates, and how they are declining.
Today people just are not having big families like they use to and I never even really new about this or cared until we watched a movie/documentary type thing entitled:
The New Economic Reality: Demographic winter (via BYUtv.org)
This documentary talked about many things including birthrates which really stood out to me. The baby boom around the 1950s of course was discussed, but it turns out it is not exactly what people thought it was. When I hear baby boom I think of huge numbers of babies just being born to everywhere all the time to every family when in reality it was about 3.7 babies per women which when you think about it is not really a boom but more of a small pop of children.
Back when this baby "boom" was going on people started freaking out saying the world was going to be over populated and that people should stop, one thing in the video that really bothered me was a man compared having 5 children to robbing a bank saying it was taking away from children and other people, WHAT? that just was a little extreme and made no sense to me and it turns out that around the 1970s it started showing that birthrates were declining YEAH!
Many things contribute to this like the women's revolution and stuff, but personally I think marriage age is a big one because if people are not getting married or waiting to have children until their older there's not going to be kids and we need more young people in this world, you know to keep things going. :)
Now I'm not saying go out and get pregnant it was just a thought provoking to me to see all this put together
After all this personally I think Its really important for people to keep and know the importance of families, the worlds population depends on it...just kidding...maybe
GET MARRIED HAVE FAMILIES WITH LOTS OF BABIES LOL :)
Rachel
Here is a link to the video I was referencing and getting a lot of my opinions from.
http://www.byutv.org/watch/59b6b917-984a-478f-93b1-521a647779c4/new-economic-reality-demographic-winter-part-1
http://www.byutv.org/watch/b3dfa9f3-6e20-4d64-af96-fbf3fd64670a/new-economic-reality-demographic-winter-part-2
Classmates Blogs
Here is a list of my fellow classmates blogs that will be talking about similar issues
Monday, September 16, 2013
My name is Rachel Escobar and I am starting this blog for a class FAML 160: Family Relations. I have absolutely no idea how a blog works or if I am even doing it right. Just a little bit about me, I am from southern California about 40mins. north of Los Angeles and have lived there my entire life. I transferred to BYUI as a sophomore from my community college back home. Idaho is very different from anything I am used and definitely a new experience for me. I am a child development major and I have no idea what I want to do with that I just know I would like to work with children without being an elementary school teacher. In my spare time I like to hangout with friends and try new things recently I have started snowboarding and love it. This is a little about me I hope I am doing this correctly.
Rachel
Rachel
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